It is said that moving one's life and one' household across town or across the world is one the top three reasons for divorce in the modern world. I believe the other two are a lost income and the death of a child. So, here we are, two of the top issues for divorce, Mark and me, and we're still hanging in together. But, for how much longer? The divisions between us are growing rapidly greater leaving gaping canyons of disagreements and unhappiness upon both our parts. The accusations of whom makes money and who does not is a really big one, and since the golden goose is Mark, I am left to rot inside my head every self doubt and every issue of worthlessness that always comes when we fight. Only, it doesn't go away after the fight anymore. I am coming to believe that indeed I am lazy, unloving, worthless, non-supportive and selfish putting all the needs I have before my dear Mark. That is when the self doubt grabs hold tight of my depression and they start their sexy tango, weaving me amongst the other dancers and out into a solitary space, where the air is bitter with cold and I am surely to freeze, bereft of any warmth of kindness. How can I blame the man, I hardly want to be around myself. So, each day moves forward, further from New York and deeper into myself, abandoning pleasure in all things and wishing only to find relief in the blessing comfort of my warm bedclothes and my dear Miss Mint and drift to sleep, that lovely land of oblivion where all is peaceful, safe and kind...
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