Thursday, November 03, 2005

Midtown East


Well at last a residence - temporary still (it's a furnished monthly) but it has great amenities and will be more than adequate for the time being. Oh, I suppose that sounds ungrateful and in some ways I suppose it is, but it's still suitcase living, without my own furniture, art, sculpture, paints, china, silver, etc. All the components of what a signature style and self expression is about.Mkaing a home. It cannot be home here in a physical sense and it's left me feeling unsettled, ungrounded. Should we change our mail, insurance, health providers? I don't think so. Not yet. We've only just left West Hollywood - HOME - and it's on a' see as we go' basis, month to month, like a nihtmare holiday that has no end.

Mark has his work to distract him from the homeless feeling, and I'm glad for him. He's being productive and he has a purpose. I'm just left in a limbo of 'hanger on' or 'dutiful spouse' without direction, enthusiasim, aspiration or merit. I've been a house husband and parent for so many years; at this age how does one begin again? I guess I'll find out, one way or another. But California is sure looking better and better to me. See the photos - that's my old home; books, design, personal and intimate. Here in new York we've just got an upscale sterile hotel.


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