I was praying today for guidance, and especially for Mark, who is at present attempting to have Anna and her husband reimburse us for the expense of our moving, as was promised almost two years ago as an enticement for Mark to take this job in New York City. I've had no little concern for this, as many of you know, for all of the tangible assets we own are still at risk of loss, sitting in a warehouse and potentially rotting in Los Angeles. While they represent our memories, as well as our few assets, even should they have to be sold for us to live, we need at least to have them made available, and in reasonable condition, for us to do so.
While praying I also asked Our Lord for some comfort regarding my upcoming surgery, for which I cannot receive prior to its implentation the Sacrament of the Sick, not knowing any clergy here who may not ask me to revoke my belief in my marriage before administering me the blessing. Despite many whom believe as I do within the Church, the current hostility towards gay Catholics and Gay clergy, even to interferrence with our civil rights (once forbidden by the very Church now practicing it so strongly) makes finding a confessor and spiritual director almost impossible without an introduction.
I use the Jerusalem Bible as my translation of choice for Holy Scripture. The accuracy of the passages is by far the most reliable available, for the text is translated directly from the original Hebrew and Greek texts, not from one of the many translations made centuries after the events. The scripture fell open to the Introduction to St. Paul and I chose to read. Knowing Jesus as I do, I believed that there was a message even in the introduction for me - and it is so beautiful that I wanted to share it with you.
"The danger at Colossae {they are speaking about heresy in referencing "danger"} was due to the basically Jewish (Col. 2:16) speculations they had taken up about the celestial or cosmic powers. These were the powers thought to be responsible for the regular movement of the cosmos, and the speculations about them, much influenced by Hellenistic philosophy, attached an importance to these powers that threatened the supremacy of Christ. Paul accepts these cosmological premisses and, far from expressing any doubts about these powers, he associates them with the angels of Jewish tradition, 2:15; all he is concerned about is to show their subordinate place in the scheme of salvation. Their task had been to 'mediate' the Law, and to administer it and that is now accomplished: Christo Kyrios, Christ the Lord, has established a new order of things and he now governs the cosmos. Raised up to heaven he is above all the cosmic powers and has stripped them of their ancient dignities, 2:15. Because he is the Son, the Father's image, he was their lord already when the world was made; now in the new creation he is their confirmed and absolute master, for gather into him is the pleroma, the fullness of Being, that is to say the fulness of both God and all that exists through Gods creative power. 1:13-20."
Why are we still fighting about science and what the Bible says! We're told right here not to do that very thing. While this is the intoduction it is simply describing and explaining the many letters Paul wrote to various Christian sects scattered throughout Roman cities. This passage comforted me on two levels. First, Paul, formerly Saul, was a Roman. I wish he'd kept his name, Saul - so much more elegany and masculine! But, I sidetrack us. Paul understood implicitly the culture to which he was speaking becuase it was his culture and he did not 'dilly daly' about the details - neither how the cosmos moved, (nor the number of angels on a pin head, as I think of it) - but quite simply writing that it didn't matter anymore whatsoever how the cosmos moved because God already has ALL of it covered. We can learn, then, that whether the world was created through natural selection as Darwin suggests or in the seven days of Genesis, it is God whom is responsible. Whatever our human understanding is, and we have been shown by history time and time again how limited our vision, our fullness of understanding, truly is, God already knows all sides and has incorporated them all into his Being. (Wow! What a relief this would have been to Galileo if this Jerusalem Bible translation and notes had been available, he might have kept his thumb and been able to publish.)
Also, Paul, as a Roman, knew all the political games. I think it's Jesus suggesting I ask, and I have, Saint Paul's intercession in understanding the political games of the Church today. It hasn't quite struck me from my seat in a lighting bolt just yet, but it is a little comfort. God has already seen and known and understood this, the persecution of his Gay sons and daughters, even by his Church, and will show his justification for us and to us.
I have also been frightened of the upcoming minor surgery because I'm unable to confess and have the blessing of the sick - and so what I know is also being said here on a personal level to me is that Jesus, and God his Father, already know my heart and have taken all this into consideration. I need not fear, either for myself, or for Mark and Joy, even should anything happen to me.
I also went on to read in Romans as my curiosity was peaked, and I read from 3:25-31, 4:1-18. Wow, again. Jesus is granting me so much comfort I hardly dare share it with you! I hope you will read it and if possible choose the J.B. translation, as it is the most accurate translation of the ancient texts. (It's imprimatur and nihil obstat are quite clearly printed following the title page, should this concern anyone reading whom is Catholic.)
Paul is speaking to the sect in Rome about the faith of men. He uses Abraham as the example, for he says this is whom we're all descended from, and it is oh so very comforting. He reiterates that scripture says:
"Abraham put his faith in God, and this faith was considered as justifying him. If a man has work to show, his wages are not considered as a favour, but as his due: {I'm directly consoled, and even teased a bit, about Mark's situation here! I could hug both Paul and Jesus for this bit of hope and humor!} but when a man has nothing to show except faith in the one who justifies sinners, then his faith is considered as justifying him."
This is the embrace of a Creator whom deeply loves me, us; despite sins and failures. He squeezes us all tightly, as a parent its children, brushes away tears and holds us all to remind us and take away our fear that by not always fulfilling the Law as others say it is required, God still knows our hearts and our faith and accepts these without reservation. The only proviso being our faith is genuine.
Paul writes further:
"Not justified by the Law."
"The promise of inheriting the world was not made to Abraham and his descendants on account of any law but on account of of the righteousness which consists in faith. If the world is only to be inherited by those who submit to the Law, then faith is pointless and the promise worth nothing. Law involves the possibility of punishment for breaking the law - only where there is no law can that be avoided.* That is why what fulfills the promise depends on faith, so that it may be a free gift and available to all of Abraham's descendants, not only those who belong to the Law but also those who belong to the faith of Abraham who is the father of all of us."
"...Punishment for breaking the law - only where there is no law that can be avoided!" This is what I have been trying to say all along, and for which and why satan was and is, if I may be blunt, hell bent, to cause me to doubt my own faith, the faith taught me by the Church: that in a matter of personal conscience I am free to follow my conscience. My faith that I am acting morally and as a righteous man in my commitment to my marriage to Mark is justified; the law cannot exist, the law cannot exist, which can be more important than my faith; my faith is the right and holy act I believe it to be. My faith that Mark acts nobly within the guidelines of his own faith, which is different from mine on many points is insignificant (i.e. angels on pin heads!); for here his faith is clearly established as being just as valid and genuine, perhaps more so, than mine: for it is far more childlike, and therefore pleasing, to our Father, if we are to listen to the words Jesus spoke elsewhere in the NT. Mark just believes in his redemption, and did not need to have Paul or Jesus confirm for him that he is loved and saved in any scripture passage today. And so it is with our daughter, too. It is enough now that I know that I and her Dad showed her Jesus is her saviour, she will find her footing with him, too. I have not failed her in this matter.
It also says in scripture: "...faith, hope and charity, and the greatest of these is love." It is an amazing thing to be freed of death, not only because of God's love, but because of my hope, my faith. I ask God to never allow me to doubt my faith.
Now, if my faith were only the size of a mustard seed, which apparently it's not and still needs to grow quite a bit to reach even such a large diameter as this, than I know we will be safe with Jesus, my Lord, no matter what. Even if we do not get our things back. And even if that will be very difficult on me. But for now I choose to believe that Paul is reminding me that Jesus will not leave me or my precious Mark without the means to create a livelihood for our family - and that certainly includes Mark being reimbursed for the nearly two years of hard work in which he has been greatly cheated of his full due.
Jesus, as with the movement of the cosmos that so concerned the Colossians, has seen and understood and brought us fully into his Being: our little problems are watched over and so many blessings are given. I have received in my long marriage to Mark the great blessing of not being alone all these years, as i had expected, but of being given a family - and of being loved by a man who knows all my faults and takes a chance on me anyway. If mark is capable of so much for me, than to paraphrase, how much more must God.
* Lit. 'For law brings anger whereas (var. 'for') where there is no law there is no lawlessness either'
While praying I also asked Our Lord for some comfort regarding my upcoming surgery, for which I cannot receive prior to its implentation the Sacrament of the Sick, not knowing any clergy here who may not ask me to revoke my belief in my marriage before administering me the blessing. Despite many whom believe as I do within the Church, the current hostility towards gay Catholics and Gay clergy, even to interferrence with our civil rights (once forbidden by the very Church now practicing it so strongly) makes finding a confessor and spiritual director almost impossible without an introduction.
I use the Jerusalem Bible as my translation of choice for Holy Scripture. The accuracy of the passages is by far the most reliable available, for the text is translated directly from the original Hebrew and Greek texts, not from one of the many translations made centuries after the events. The scripture fell open to the Introduction to St. Paul and I chose to read. Knowing Jesus as I do, I believed that there was a message even in the introduction for me - and it is so beautiful that I wanted to share it with you.
"The danger at Colossae {they are speaking about heresy in referencing "danger"} was due to the basically Jewish (Col. 2:16) speculations they had taken up about the celestial or cosmic powers. These were the powers thought to be responsible for the regular movement of the cosmos, and the speculations about them, much influenced by Hellenistic philosophy, attached an importance to these powers that threatened the supremacy of Christ. Paul accepts these cosmological premisses and, far from expressing any doubts about these powers, he associates them with the angels of Jewish tradition, 2:15; all he is concerned about is to show their subordinate place in the scheme of salvation. Their task had been to 'mediate' the Law, and to administer it and that is now accomplished: Christo Kyrios, Christ the Lord, has established a new order of things and he now governs the cosmos. Raised up to heaven he is above all the cosmic powers and has stripped them of their ancient dignities, 2:15. Because he is the Son, the Father's image, he was their lord already when the world was made; now in the new creation he is their confirmed and absolute master, for gather into him is the pleroma, the fullness of Being, that is to say the fulness of both God and all that exists through Gods creative power. 1:13-20."
Why are we still fighting about science and what the Bible says! We're told right here not to do that very thing. While this is the intoduction it is simply describing and explaining the many letters Paul wrote to various Christian sects scattered throughout Roman cities. This passage comforted me on two levels. First, Paul, formerly Saul, was a Roman. I wish he'd kept his name, Saul - so much more elegany and masculine! But, I sidetrack us. Paul understood implicitly the culture to which he was speaking becuase it was his culture and he did not 'dilly daly' about the details - neither how the cosmos moved, (nor the number of angels on a pin head, as I think of it) - but quite simply writing that it didn't matter anymore whatsoever how the cosmos moved because God already has ALL of it covered. We can learn, then, that whether the world was created through natural selection as Darwin suggests or in the seven days of Genesis, it is God whom is responsible. Whatever our human understanding is, and we have been shown by history time and time again how limited our vision, our fullness of understanding, truly is, God already knows all sides and has incorporated them all into his Being. (Wow! What a relief this would have been to Galileo if this Jerusalem Bible translation and notes had been available, he might have kept his thumb and been able to publish.)
Also, Paul, as a Roman, knew all the political games. I think it's Jesus suggesting I ask, and I have, Saint Paul's intercession in understanding the political games of the Church today. It hasn't quite struck me from my seat in a lighting bolt just yet, but it is a little comfort. God has already seen and known and understood this, the persecution of his Gay sons and daughters, even by his Church, and will show his justification for us and to us.
I have also been frightened of the upcoming minor surgery because I'm unable to confess and have the blessing of the sick - and so what I know is also being said here on a personal level to me is that Jesus, and God his Father, already know my heart and have taken all this into consideration. I need not fear, either for myself, or for Mark and Joy, even should anything happen to me.
I also went on to read in Romans as my curiosity was peaked, and I read from 3:25-31, 4:1-18. Wow, again. Jesus is granting me so much comfort I hardly dare share it with you! I hope you will read it and if possible choose the J.B. translation, as it is the most accurate translation of the ancient texts. (It's imprimatur and nihil obstat are quite clearly printed following the title page, should this concern anyone reading whom is Catholic.)
Paul is speaking to the sect in Rome about the faith of men. He uses Abraham as the example, for he says this is whom we're all descended from, and it is oh so very comforting. He reiterates that scripture says:
"Abraham put his faith in God, and this faith was considered as justifying him. If a man has work to show, his wages are not considered as a favour, but as his due: {I'm directly consoled, and even teased a bit, about Mark's situation here! I could hug both Paul and Jesus for this bit of hope and humor!} but when a man has nothing to show except faith in the one who justifies sinners, then his faith is considered as justifying him."
This is the embrace of a Creator whom deeply loves me, us; despite sins and failures. He squeezes us all tightly, as a parent its children, brushes away tears and holds us all to remind us and take away our fear that by not always fulfilling the Law as others say it is required, God still knows our hearts and our faith and accepts these without reservation. The only proviso being our faith is genuine.
Paul writes further:
"Not justified by the Law."
"The promise of inheriting the world was not made to Abraham and his descendants on account of any law but on account of of the righteousness which consists in faith. If the world is only to be inherited by those who submit to the Law, then faith is pointless and the promise worth nothing. Law involves the possibility of punishment for breaking the law - only where there is no law can that be avoided.* That is why what fulfills the promise depends on faith, so that it may be a free gift and available to all of Abraham's descendants, not only those who belong to the Law but also those who belong to the faith of Abraham who is the father of all of us."
"...Punishment for breaking the law - only where there is no law that can be avoided!" This is what I have been trying to say all along, and for which and why satan was and is, if I may be blunt, hell bent, to cause me to doubt my own faith, the faith taught me by the Church: that in a matter of personal conscience I am free to follow my conscience. My faith that I am acting morally and as a righteous man in my commitment to my marriage to Mark is justified; the law cannot exist, the law cannot exist, which can be more important than my faith; my faith is the right and holy act I believe it to be. My faith that Mark acts nobly within the guidelines of his own faith, which is different from mine on many points is insignificant (i.e. angels on pin heads!); for here his faith is clearly established as being just as valid and genuine, perhaps more so, than mine: for it is far more childlike, and therefore pleasing, to our Father, if we are to listen to the words Jesus spoke elsewhere in the NT. Mark just believes in his redemption, and did not need to have Paul or Jesus confirm for him that he is loved and saved in any scripture passage today. And so it is with our daughter, too. It is enough now that I know that I and her Dad showed her Jesus is her saviour, she will find her footing with him, too. I have not failed her in this matter.
It also says in scripture: "...faith, hope and charity, and the greatest of these is love." It is an amazing thing to be freed of death, not only because of God's love, but because of my hope, my faith. I ask God to never allow me to doubt my faith.
Now, if my faith were only the size of a mustard seed, which apparently it's not and still needs to grow quite a bit to reach even such a large diameter as this, than I know we will be safe with Jesus, my Lord, no matter what. Even if we do not get our things back. And even if that will be very difficult on me. But for now I choose to believe that Paul is reminding me that Jesus will not leave me or my precious Mark without the means to create a livelihood for our family - and that certainly includes Mark being reimbursed for the nearly two years of hard work in which he has been greatly cheated of his full due.
Jesus, as with the movement of the cosmos that so concerned the Colossians, has seen and understood and brought us fully into his Being: our little problems are watched over and so many blessings are given. I have received in my long marriage to Mark the great blessing of not being alone all these years, as i had expected, but of being given a family - and of being loved by a man who knows all my faults and takes a chance on me anyway. If mark is capable of so much for me, than to paraphrase, how much more must God.
* Lit. 'For law brings anger whereas (var. 'for') where there is no law there is no lawlessness either'
